Empathy No. 077
ELEANOR: Lloyd's been talking about Thanksgiving plans lately. I guess it's a big deal for him, it's something they always do. They're having it here, and...oh, I lost track of everyone who's coming. I know his mother is, his sister, her kids, uh...I think an uncle? He said we should be ready for six, seven people, maybe more.
DR. BRAWNEY: That's a pretty big crowd. How does that make you feel?
ELEANOR: Nervous. We never did big Thanksgiving dinners even when I was a little girl. We moved around a lot, the family was scattered all over the place, and then after I had Roderick we really never did anything like this, we didn't even observe it every year. It's been so long since we've had a big get-together.
DR. BRAWNEY: Is that the only reason you're concerned?
ELEANOR: I'm concerned about meeting the family. You know, I really thought that I was over the whole "new wife" thing - people don't whisper around me or anything like that. But I really haven't met anyone in his extended family. It's going to be just like it was when we were engaged, people scrutinizing me - scrutinizing us. I'm just afraid of doing something wrong.
DR. BRAWNEY: What do you think you might do wrong?
ELEANOR: I don't know. Anything. I could say something that offends someone or starts a fight. I know it's silly, and everything's going to work out fine. Work out fine for me, at least. I'm also worried about how Roderick's going to deal with this.
DR. BRAWNEY: Has he expressed any concerns to you?
ELEANOR: I haven't really told him yet. He probably knows though, he knows everything. I don't think he'd tell me even if he knew, or he'd just say it's "fine." The thing is, I know the relations want to meet him. Lloyd...he hasn't stopped talking about Roderick since that first time they met. I know he's talked about my son to his mother and sister and they're going to expect to hear from him.
DR. BRAWNEY: And you foresee a problem?
ELEANOR: You know, he's humble, he doesn't like to talk about himself. When I try to brag about him, he gets uncomfortable. And then there's the house, I mean...not everyone is staying in the house, but when they're here? That crowd? He's still getting used to having five people in the house with him, now we're going to make it a dozen? Strangers who want to talk to him? All that noise...I mean, he'll endure it, he always does, but I get tired of asking him to deal with these things.
DR. BRAWNEY: This brings up something I should have discussed with you at our last session. Roderick has become more defensive in recent weeks.
ELEANOR: I know, he actually came to me...must have been a week and a half ago, trying to get out of coming here. He said he didn't need it.
DR. BRAWNEY: That may have been at least partially at my fault. I brought up a topic with Roderick that, in retrospect, I should have discussed with you first. He was very upset.
ELEANOR: What? Is it serious?
DR. BRAWNEY: Roderick is not in any particular trouble. I suggested that he speak with a colleague of mine, a specialist. He felt that I had tricked him into a diagnosis.
ELEANOR: A diagnosis of what?
DR. BRAWNEY: I believe that your son has Asperger syndrome. It's a condition related to autism.
ELEANOR: Autism? No. I mean, I think you're going a little overboard, aren't you?
DR. BRAWNEY: Roderick has some autistic features. He avoids eye contact, he struggles to initiate or maintain a conversation, he is sensitive to sound, as you yourself have just suggested. Add to this what you've said about his childhood, his unwillingness to engage with other children, and it tends to suggest a form of high-functioning autism.
ELEANOR: He's a little odd, but...I just don't understand. His father was normal. And the other psychologist who diagnosed him-
DR. BRAWNEY: His previous doctor probably misinterpreted Roderick's social problems as a sort of narcissism. This research is always evolving, which is why I want him to speak with my colleague. It could help us understand this condition, and in turn, we can help Roderick cope.
ELEANOR: I just don't know about any of this. I think maybe I should talk to Roderick about this...and Lloyd, should I ask him? Should I tell him?
DR. BRAWNEY: It might be easier if you don't tell him yet. With your consent, I can use the tapes from Roderick's sessions and his existing file to begin a preliminary screening. All you would need to contribute is a short interview about his behavior when he was a small child.
ELEANOR: All of that's really necessary?
DR. BRAWNEY: It's unusual that we diagnose an autistic disorder in someone as old as Roderick, and more information on his childhood behaviors would help. In the event that my colleagues agree with me, we would also need to gather information about his behavior in different contexts. That would mean engaging people at his school. We would talk to some of his teachers, and I would have some conversations with the principal and Mr. Delson as well.
ELEANOR: So we're spying on him now. It's...do you think that this would really help?
DR. BRAWNEY: It would help him and it would help us. Roderick could well be the Rosetta Stone, the key to diagnosing autistic disorders in adults.
ELEANOR: ...Okay. If you think this would help, I'll go along.
DR. BRAWNEY: Thank you. We can schedule a time for the interview. If you have any material from his childhood, anything he wrote, that would help as well.
ELEANOR: I kept a lot of his homework. I'll see what I can find. I just...hope this is right for him.