Empathy No. 166

06/09/03, Levitt living room – late evening

Allison always felt some faint trepidation when coming home after sunset, even when this was expected and she had done no particular wrong. It wasn't as though her father was a man inclined to suspicions or probing, and she never told the kind of lies demanding that treatment. Even so, there was an image she always had in mind, something she'd seen in some old movie - the door swinging open to reveal a collection of judging eyes, each glare saying Where have you been before a word was spoken.

This was the first time she'd actually encountered that scene, but the feeling was different. There was a change in the feeling of the room as she entered and those judging eyes realized that it wasn't who they were hoping. Eleanor, in particular, looked ready to faint.

"Roderick's still not back yet?" said Allison.

Lloyd bit down on a troubled sigh. "No, and no one's heard from him yet."

"He's never been gone this late without telling me." Eleanor's voice was a sundered whisper, all she could manage without sobbing.

"You know he didn't really run away," said Allison. "He's probably just hanging out at the library or something, just to freak you out. That's about as rebellious as he's gonna get. Or, have you called the Andersons? Because if he's really upset, he'll go to Carlie first."

"We called there, they haven't seen him," said Lloyd.

"Well..." Allison paged through her thought in search of some explanation that wouldn't betray her own concern. "Maybe Carlie's hiding him. I'll run over there and check myself. And if he's not there, he's probably close by."

"Hold it." Lloyd climbed to his feet. "I'll take care of this. I'll go drive around and look for him again."

Eleanor grasped feebly for Lloyd's arm. "No, please don't go now."

"I'll be back in half an hour." Lloyd took Eleanor's hand, cradling it as though it might shatter in his grip. "You know this isn't your fault. You did this for his own good, and he needs to understand that."

"All he ever wanted was for people to leave him alone," said Eleanor. "That's all he ever wanted from me and I wouldn't give it to him."

"Dad, seriously, I should go to the Andersons and check," said Allison. "I really think he's more likely to talk-"

"I told you to say," said Lloyd. "Stay close to the phone, take a message if anyone calls. I've asked some people to keep an eye out."

Allison had a powerful counterargument that faded before her father's gaze. "...Okay, Dad, I'll stay here, I promise."

"Good girl," said Lloyd over his shoulder. "Sixty minutes, tops."

Allison took her father's place next to Eleanor, hoping to be at least some portion of the comforting presence that he was. "I really don't think he's gonna do anything dangerous. There's like four places he could be, they're all within a few blocks. He'll come back when he cools down."

"Is he back?" Jason poked his head out from the stairs. "Oh, guess not, huh?"

"Dad's out looking," said Allison.

Jason leaned over the sofa. "You shouldn't worry. If he was planning anything, he would have told me, honest."

Eleanor's eyes slowly focused on her stepson. "What kind of things did he tell you?"

"I don't know, family stuff," said Jason. "He wasn't mad or anything."

"He was mad, all right, but he never told anyone," said Eleanor. "That's his way."